Disney and a wha...?

After my initial teaser, I feel obligated to follow up with a positive experience of sorts. Many of my dating experiences have not been positive but a few have been great, even though short-lived. Perhaps the best example comes from one of my early internet dating experiences. Now, I don't want to embarrass anyone so I'll not use actual names, only initials or nicknames when applicable.

 P is a divorced dad to 4 kids. He's active in church, has his own business, adores his kids, and was trying to maintain an amicable friendship with his ex-wife, since they were still business partners and have children together. He's a quiet, serious man; good natured and fun-loving but also fairly reserved. He works hard, and his children are his priority. At first, I didn't quite know what to make of him because he was so quiet and I had to lead a lot of the chats. But as I got to know him more, he relaxed and grew more talkative, and I liked him better. We got to the point that we wanted to meet, and we'd decided that it would not involve his kids since we were both hesitant about the success of internet dating and we both felt that introducing kids into a relationship early was not a good idea. P's kids were kind of excited about us meeting and they told their mom, and she was super excited for us to meet. 

One day, P, and I were talking on the phone and he says his ex-wife is there and wants to talk to me, that she'd been bugging him the last few days at work about something and really wanted to talk to me about it. He said I didn't have to talk to her if I didn't want to but that if I did, he promised she'd be nice, so I talked to her. She wanted to invite me to Disney Land, that his kids really wanted him to go but he didn't want to go as a '5th wheel' if you will, but he'd be persuaded to go for his kids if he had someone to hang out with too, and that if I went, she'd pay for everything, and we'd have time just the two of us to get to know each other, kid free. I didn't have to answer right then but she hoped to hear from me soon. I asked P. how he felt about it, and he says it might be nice to meet up that way and then I could see first hand his situation and find out if it scared me off. I was still hesitant. 

Seriously, how crazy is that? Who goes on someone's family vacation for a first date? Besides, I had no desire to go to Disney, had never been before and knew I could live a full life without ever going. I consulted with my sister Meg, my go to girl and in essence my external voice of reason most of the time, and to my surprise, she tells me to go for it. It's a great opportunity for me to see him naturally- since vacations are almost always stressful to some extent, and I'd get to see him with his kids and see first hand they dynamics of the relationship with his ex-wife and all that stuff. So... I decided to go for it. A few weeks later I was on a plane to meet P. and his kids for a weekend at Disney with his ex-wife, her new husband, their new baby, and his kids from his first marriage. Yeah- craziness! There was one stipulation- my phone stayed on and I answered it, in case he was a mass murderer with his kids in tow. Meg, my mom, and my friend Aimee all took turns calling me once or twice throughout the weekend to make sure I was alive still. I was sooooooo nervous. I was going on a 3 day, 2 night blind date with an entire family plus some extra people. It was so sweet- he and his daughter had made me a survival pack that included a camera, a mini Disney scrapbook kit, an ice pack, some treats, and some other cute, fun, and useful things with a fun little note attached. I loved it! 

 The first day, P's daughter hated me and the boys liked me and the second day she and the younger boys liked me but his oldest boy hated me. The first night we had P's kids with us the entire time. The following day, we had at least 3 kids with us at all times, and not all of them were P's. His ex-wife called him frequently to ask him to meet her to get another kid, or to meet her at a specific time and place, or to tell us we needed to help her find one or two of the kids she was looking after. At one point, we had all the kids but her new baby. And all day, P grew quieter and quieter. That evening, he reached his boiling point. His ex-wife got mad because we sent the new husbands kids back to her and we didn't invite her and her new family to have dinner with us. We met up with her after we ate, while her family was just finishing their dinner and watching an outdoor concert. I told her since they were in a fairly contained area and had the older kids to help watch the younger, P and I were going to go for a walk just the two of us- she was all kinds of giddy happy about that. P and I walked and talked- I let him vent his frustrations at his ex-wife, I reassured him I was having fun despite the unkept promises made by his ex-wife but I knew when she made them she wouldn't keep her word. And then the phone rang, again. Ten minutes alone! She was panicking because she had lost 3 of the boys and we needed to come back immediately to help find them. He called the kids phones and told them to head back to their mom and dad. Then we had P's kids again for the rest of the night. We left the next day. 

 We talked for a few more months, saw each other once more, and went our separate ways. P is a great guy! I have complete respect for him, and I don't envy his situation at all but I know he is the better person in that strange family situation. I knew I was not the cute, bubbly, petite cheerleader type girl that he prefers, and I knew that at the time we knew each other, he was still reeling from his divorce. His ex was high school sweetheart. She left him for another man, who left his wife about the same time she left P. She denies cheating but was remarried within months of the divorce. He was still getting over the hurt. His priority was his kids and his business. P is a good man, and any girl would be lucky to have that man in her life. And his kids are great too! I visited his home the second time we met, and I can honestly say that his is a happy home! Plus, he's a good cook! 

The most important things I gained from my crazy Disney Land date is that guys aren't always the one's doing the divorcing, and that there are truly good guys out there. And when the ex is super excited to have you in the picture, you know they have ulterior motives and are probably lying to some extent. And I learned that Disney is actually pretty fun but I really think you have to go there with kids to enjoy it. My favorite ride there was the Indiana Jones ride- the Tower of Terror might have been my favorite but it was broken while we were there. And, I highly recommend the mint julep and monte cristo sandwich from the restaurant that looks like it's a southern antebellum plantation. Mmmmmmm yummie stuff! And because of P, I like KISS, and will never forget his little boy jamming out in the back of the truck to Ozzy! 

Thanks for the memories P and I hope you're happy, where ever you are now. Do you wanna know what the really weird part about it was? It was gay day at Disney, and lucky me, I got to sit on a lesbian's lap- not by choice I promise! And I honestly thought she was a he at first, not that sitting on a strange man's lap is any better. I'll just shut up now. We were leaving the park and the trolley thing was pretty packed and my little family for the weekend all fit on and there was a spot big enough for 1/2 a butt cheek in the row in front of them. This 'guy' and the woman next to him say I can pile in on top- they won't care, and I did... kinda, and then I realized he was a she, and P and I had a good laugh over it. The end.