When's a NCMO not a NCMO?

I just had the best and craziest week in about 3 years. I was involved in volunteer work and I spent time with an old friend. I am on the committee for Art & Soup, a fundraising event in SLC for a hospice program. I decorate for what used to be the black tie night- now they call it the Artist's Reception. So, I spent Monday gathering up my ordered goodies and doing preliminary set up to shorten my day Tuesday. I used to work at a theater back in Michigan, before I came out Utah for school. I was a techie- I did wardrobe, light hangs, ran a follow spot, purposely did props poorly to avoid being stuck with that crap job, helped build and paint sets, and even got to stage manage several shows. Most of my coworkers and I did not get along- they were crude and vulgar and thought it was hysterical to cuss at me and make fun of me for being religious. Aimee, Ted, and Brent were the only three that didn't. Aimee's a witch (seriously she is), Ted is a nice Catholic boy that reminds me for all the world of Mr. Bean, and then there was Brent.  

Let me describe Brent briefly- a big, scary, burly guy- he's 6 foot huge, broad shoulders, deep voice, dark eyes, and very rough around the edges. Oh, and for the closest comparison I can think of, he reminds me of Mark McGrath, the lead singer from Sugar Ray, but Mark McGrath is by far the better looking of the two. Aimee was intimidated by him but not me! To me, he was a big old 'shmallow and a teddy bear. When I was cold, he'd wrap those big arms around me and warm me up. He'd sit with me on our breaks and just talk quietly with me, trying to figure out why I was so churchy. He tried very hard to not cuss around me, and would tell visiting crew members to not cuss around me. He was one of my three friends there, plus he was taller than me, interested in me, and he was cute! He disappeared abruptly to go on tour with some show. Then I left for school. That was over 10 years ago. 

 Recently, our former boss's wife died. Almost all of my former coworkers attended the funeral. Aimee and Ted, now married to each other, told me they had learned that most of the old coworkers are on Facebook including Brent. So, I creeped (FB stalked) my old friend, and to my surprise, I learned that he was going to be in SLC the very next week, the week of my Art & Soup function, so I sent him a message telling him I'd like to catch up with him while he was in my town. And we definitely caught up! Brent is a decent guy, even rougher around the edges now than he was back in the day, more worldly, and more experienced. It was very surprising to see this burly, rough man using refined manners and following the old fashioned rules of gentlemanly chivalry, for which I'm a sucker. He opened doors for me, kept his hand at the small of my back and followed/led me to our seats, made sure I was seated before he sat, made sure I ordered first or ordered for me, walked on the outside edge of the sidewalk, used his napkin, ate European style, and didn't talk with his mouth full. He used please, thank you, and excuse me! I was taken aback because I'd never seen him so polite or using such manners, and I was impressed. His momma raised him right, and he gives her full credit for doing so. We met for a late dinner and talked till the wee hours of the night. 

Then met the next day for lunch and a tour of the city. We walked around eating ice cream and checking out some great neighborhoods. He asked a kazillion questions about the church, and did a comparison of sorts between his professed religion and mine. Then he kissed my cheek goodbye and told me he really wanted to kiss me but since he didn't want me to hit him (a legitimate concern with me- for those of you that know me) that's all the more moves he felt comfortable putting on me. Hehe! Okay, smooth my friend- very smooth and it totally worked. Two days later, we were together again, and this time I decided the boy needed home-cooking- one of my specialties that I rarely do these days because it is no fun to cook for one. Might I suggest this super easy and incredibly delicious confection to tantalize and impress- thank you Kyle the Creepy Chef for this gem- French toast made with croissants instead of bread. You have to use half & half or heavy cream instead of milk with quality real vanilla and it must be fried in butter plus you don't ruin it with syrup- you use strawberries, powdered sugar, and whipped cream. 

So we ate and talked, then went for a walk up by the temple. We talked more church stuff for quite some time and then we went to play Guitar Hero. However that was a no go- his friend didn't have time to drop it off. So we talked, and then he asked if he could kiss me. I have to say, my sister, roommates, and other friends and siblings have all made fun of me for wanting a guy to ask if he can kiss me, but you know there are times that you just don't want someone near your mouth and you cringe at the thought of them trying to kiss you and you have to hurry up and come up with an evasive duck and bobble maneuver to protect your lips from the inevitable unwanted lip assault. This was not one of those times, but it was still very sweet of him to ask. And that was that! I finally got to kiss the man and not just a quick peck on the lips. And kiss him I did! Will I make out with Brent again? If I'm still single next time he comes to town... in another couple years, and I'm desperate! So yeah, probably not! 

I told him before we saw each other that first night that I was no longer a NCMO girl and that he'd do better to find a Craig's List girl for a hook up if that's what he was after. He actually looked up what a NCMO was and then begged me to be his first official NCMO. I explained to him that if I did that I'd never talk to him again, which confused him- I had to explain it was the LDS equivalency of a non-sexual one night stand. So then he says we're FWB- rrrrrright. I'm supposed to be the naïve one that doesn't know worldly terms? Well, we're still talking so maybe he's right. 

I'm okay with whatever it was- not quite a NCMO, definitely not FWB. No, it was just two people that had ridiculous leftover crushes on one another, knowing neither is good for the other and that our paths in life have been very divergent- it was kind of a this is maybe what it would be like if we were dating but we're not. It was good, clean fun, and in a strange way I know that there are still some decent guys out there that know how to treat a lady like a lady and not dirty talk her or try to get in her pants as part of their strange flirting technique- they may not reside in Utah and they may not be Mormon, but they exist! Now- Mormon guys, step up! 

 

An update to the above: We talked for several weeks, but then it took the usual turn. He became more sexual with his comments. He offered to help me alleviate my virginity problem. When I asked him why he and about a dozen other guys are so willing to render me the services of their much used goods, he told me it was complicated and he needed time to formulate a proper explanation. About 3 weeks later I asked him if he had had adequate time to come up with an impressive BS story that might not offend me, and I told him my theory about the offers. I think it's because 1. they're just horny, 2. they figure my inexperience means I can't make any comparisons to their size or performance, and 3. since I'm inexperienced I'd be the perfect test run for things they wanted to try. He told me that wasn't it at all, and when I asked him what it was then, he disappeared. It's now August, and I haven't heard from him since the 2nd week of June.