What goes thud in the night?

Growing up farmgirl does some pretty strange things to ya. For example, back in the day when people did donuts in our yard, inevitably someone'd jump in the car and follow the punks. Or if you saw someone walking in the yard, you snuck out, with or without a gun, to see who was lurking about. Being part hillbilly just makes you feel invincible but sound foolish when it comes to your choices. You react first and think later.

Now, growing up, I was by far the wimp of the family. I hated going to sleepovers- anywhere. If I was with friends from school I had to worry about creepy dad's and step-dad's wandering around amongst us drinking, smoking pot, smoking cigarettes, cussing likes sailor, arguing with their wives, and trying to sneak porn without a dozen girls overhearing their nocturnal entertainment. If it was with girls from church, there were ghost stories, that stupid Stiff as a Board game, and stuff like that. If I was at my Gramma's it was old movies and musicals till 2 am, then a horror story about the devil dragging an uncle to hell or hobo's sneaking into the cellar, or prisoners hiding in the garden shed, and me sent off to bed alone. I was scared of the dark till I left for college! I hated the night time even though I have an absolutely messed up sleep pattern. My entire life has found me struggling to fall asleep at night. This is usually bad for me but has occasionally served a purpose. Especially when it comes to my sister.

She is married, has kids, has never had a problem falling asleep in her life. But when her husband is gone hunting or on business, I am called to come over. And it's usually at her house in this last year that some interesting things have happened at night, mostly when her husband has been gone overnight. One time, I was getting ready to go to bed at about 3 am when I noticed that the motion sensor light below their deck had turned on. When I looked out the window, I saw a guy in a black hoodie running from the next door neighbor's yard, through my sister's, across the street and disappeared into another neighbor's back yard. We talked to the pot-smoking next door neighbor about it the next day and even though his house had been broken into recently, he seemed very non surplussed about it. My sister and I figure it was his the little pot dealing neighborhood troublemaker. Then about a week later, I'm down in my sister's basement doing something, when I hear something large and heavy fall against the door, and then a man pretending to meow loudly like a cat while scratching at the door. For the proper visual, I suggest watching the scene from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers where the youngest brother is trying to lure a girl from her house by pretending to be her cat on the back stoop.

Last night, I was sitting in the living room with my feet up, relaxing in front of the fire, almost asleep when I heard a huge thud on the deck and against the window wall. I hobbled into my sisters room (that's right I hobbled because I somehow messed up my knee which is why my feet were up) and quietly woke her to tell her there was an unusual noise on the deck and I was going to check it out- I just wanted her awake while I did so. I figured if she joined me she'd grab her gun (we're still farmgirls even though we live in the city) but instead she followed me to the door, empty handed and bleary eyed, half asleep. Fortunately there was no one out there. The winds had blown over and collapsed a table on her deck. We went back inside and she asked if I'd be going to sleep anytime soon. This morning, she says to me, "What possessed you to go outside last night and drag me with you?" I said back, "It's what I always do- I wasn't expecting you to go out there with me, I just wanted you awake while I was out there." Her response? "Oh- that'd've made more sense. Must've missed that part while I was sleeping."

Another time, when it's not so late and I'm not on pain medication, I'll share with you some of my other crazy nocturnal adventures.