This is kinda like a twin to my roommate B so we'll go with it
If our story were played out on tv and we had to be played by men, our show would be Psych. I'd be Shawn and she'd be Gus- we've had many a discussion about this already and both agree on our characters.
I am a bit uptight and old fashioned sometimes, and when I'm not smiling I do look kinda scary. B is a funny, crazy Asian. We've been friends for forever, and we talk about anything and everything- that's how we roll! Now, I don't know if you know this or not, but most Asians do not have butts, and most of them are flat chested. B falls into the no butt category but she will never be flat chested! She has butt envy, especially towards my butt and if I happen to be walking in front of her for some reason, she will sometimes bust out a little bit of Sir Mix-a-Lot at me. Kinda weird I know, but whatever- it's also pretty funny cuz I'm pretty sure I just have big fat butt! I can honestly say that I don't have chest envy directed toward her but I will tell this story to illustrate a point. When she first moved in, I was sitting in her doorway talking to her and couldn't help but notice her ginormous bra hanging on the doorknob. It was very distracting. I got to looking at it, and the cups looked like two yarmulke attached by a cord to two straps and a band. And so with that thought in mind, I seriously stuck one of the cups on my head and it totally fit! I only know of one other person who has a chest that big, and that really is how she tries on bras to see if they'll fit her- if the cup fits her head, it'll fit her breast! Crazy but true! And neither of those gals have falsies!
So, I'm talking to this guy that a friend is trying to set me up with, and he makes a comment about a pic he saw of me on facebook and asks about my curves. I tell him I have them. He goes on to try to find out more specific details about my curves- my butt in particular. I tell him it's a bunch of fat hanging off my backside like everyone else's but then tell him how my roommate has butt envy and the song she sings about it. He's all like, "Heeeeeyyyyyy!" getting excited and I pointed out that that's her opinion, not mine. And this is what I realized. I say my roommate has butt envy of the chunk of fat hanging off my backside and sometimes sings about it and he immediately pictures this in his mind...
But some days I'm pretty sure it looks something more like this...
He asked for a pic of my bum- maybe I should send him this one! The reality of my butt is somewhere in between the two images, but the point is- guys think very differently than girls, and me and my roommate are probably crazy. The end. Oh- P.S. Thanks to whoever I swiped these pics from online- they're not mine and I lay no claim to them but if y'all really want them, you too can google them.
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