Christmas! Halleluia or Bah humbug?

This is a very important question. Lemme tell you about my week leading up to Christmas. My mom has been in town since before Thanksgiving. She's a full time job in itself. Why? Because she's diabetic, crippled, and hard of hearing. She was depressed over the death of her mother and the fact that my father was not in town with her. She sneaks candy, stays up all night, and blasts talk radio and various news shows all hours of the day and night.

I picked up my Dad from the airport last Saturday. My Mom has had me doing her Christmas shopping. My sister had me shopping with her and helping watch sick kids and take seemingly healthy kids to my house to keep them from catching what their siblings had only to learn they already had it in the predawn hours of morning. I was given craft projects to work on- I made 4 Birthday banner buntings. I was given fabric to prep for a quilt backing. I sewed an apron. I was working on a princess dress up costume. My washer and dryer are both on the fritz so I either take my laundry to my sisters or I spend about 3 hours on each load of laundry here at my house. My younger brother and his wife, who though both are very nice but they bug the living snot right out of me, spent the night at my house with their baby in order to have a quick drive to the airport for their very early flight the next morning. They threatened to have sex on my sofa. They will never stay with me again if I can help it. I helped my brother in law wrap all of his presents for is wife and kids. I picked up my oldest brotehr and his girlfriend so they could stay at my house instead of my sisters' (remember- she had sick kids all week.) I helped prepare a Christmas Eve dinner. I helped tie the quilt I made a backing for. My sister asked me to give a talk at my nephew's baptism this Tuesday.

Last night, Christmas Eve, the last guy I dated and dumped (repeatedly) decided to text me from an unkown number requesting me to call him so he can apologize. I told him no need. He said there was definitely a need. I told him he spoke his mind and made his thoughts and opinions very clear and for that one should never apologize. He wished me a Merry Christmas and told me he missed talking to me since I was the closest thing he had to family. I told him he had friends who loved him like family. He told me they'd died, very suddenly and tragically in a recent car accident. And then I thought, "Holy Crap- here we go on the drama llama again! This guy has a life worse than Job if his stories are true." Too bad none of his stories can be substantiated. So I was politely mean and gave my sympathies for their loss and then pointed out that he was contacting me out of the blue after 2 months of no communicating with the lame excuse of needing to apologize to me for something as a cover for his boredom, loneliness, and sadness now that it's Christmas and he's hoping I'll fill that void. He told me he wasn't filling a void. So I asked to him to clear up my confusion as to why he was contacting me then and he didn't respond.

I woke up early today to go watch kids open their presents at 830 am, and then I went home to get ready for church.

Church went well- especially the torturing of my 'future husband.' I really think it's about the funniest thing ever that a woman at church decided that since she had seen me talking to him I needed to be warned about his heart-breaking ways. Well, I surprised my 'future husband' by plopping myself right next to him to tell him I have been warned about his ways and I told him that wasn't gonna scare me off from telling him Merry Christmas. He just blushed and smiled and said that was a ridiculous story and wished me merry Chirstmas too. So, there's truth to it!!!! Interesting. Can't wait to find out the dish!

Oh, and I got to tease my oldest brother at church too. He hasn't really been active since he was 16, and he's now 42. Every few years, my Mom can convince him to go to church for Easter or Christmas Sunday. Well, he and his girlfriend went to church with us today and when my bishop asked for introductions, I introduced my Dad and my brother's girlfriend first and then for my brother's intro I said, "This is my oldest brother. He doesn't go to church very often but we're happy that he came today, It's his gift to my Mom actually. Well, to be more accurate, you could say this is a monumental occasion since he came all the way to Utah to grace us with his presence in church. You could kinda say he's giving the gift of himself to all of Utah!" They both got a kick out of that, and my brother actually blushed a bit at the teasing!

Anyhow- after church, we watched a quick Christmas movie, and then it was back over to my sister's house for Christmas dinner with the crazy, IMPACT worshipping in-laws.

I like time to myself. I like quiet. I like to drink out of one cup all day long. I like to shower with the bathroom door wide open so I don't have to run the fan. Every room and every bed in my house is full. All 4 house guests snore- louldly! The tv is always on. I spend hours a day doing one or two loads of laundry. I have 4 bread wrappers sitting on my counter- all different kinds of bread, and 3 of those wrappers have nothing but heels in them! My fridge is chuck full of food I will NEVER eat. I have about 3 pounds of bananas rotting in my fruit basket- the stench of ripe bananas is permeating my house and making me quite ill. All of my house guests snore. When my parents can't sleep, they get up and turn on the lights and tv and make food.

My little brother and his wife come back into town tomorrow, and then the next day is my nephew's baptism. I'm acting as tour guide and chauffer this week. I'm trying hard to not go crazy. I only have to stay sane until Jan. 4th. I can do this!!!

And in case I can't, a dear friend brought me a bottle of Martinelli's and suggested I go lock myself in a closet and sit in the dark, drinking my Martinelli's alone. Can I drink that with box of Ferrerro Rocher's my sister gave me for Christmas, and not have my butt get any bigger or end up with a horrible belly ache? Please?!?!?!